One Month Gone

So its been 30 days since i got circumcised. I have been busy with all my preparation in going back to school and also there hasnt been significant changes to report. In terms of functionality i can do everything now without any discomfort. I can even take a shower with the water falling directly on my glans without feeling any discomfort, unless of course the shower force is too strong. I have stopped wearing cotton gagues as well and even dont apply any betadine on the circed area. I can wear my undies comfortably withot any problems. Erections are also fine and there isnt any poking feeling. The most ugly part post op was the frenulum area which had nicely healed and looking fine right now. There arent any scabs or fluids coming out and it looks pink and healthy.

The negative things that i still experience is that when i masturbate sometimes a tiny bit of blood still comes out. Im trying to be even more gentle so that this stops. But the whole things has made me avoid masturbating as often as i used to. Maybe that is a good thing after all. I do miss being able to freely masturbate when i had my foreskin. There was never any need to be careful or watchful. Now things get a bit more messy and i have to be careful as well. This is a minor trade off and i am more than willing to deal with these changes. I still feel like im not erecting to my complete potential as the stitiches and scar line are still hidden under the outer foreskin. Also now that the glans exposed it gets really thick and makes the shaft look very small. To be very honest i do feel like i appear much smaller and it looks like i have lost an inch in terms of length. I am a bit concerned about this as the size seems to only about 5inches in length and i wish it was a bit more. Despite all the washing the PPP still persists and it looks like they are here to stay. Again I'm very conscious about these factors and would be really embarrassed if i got with a girl and she thought i had some kind of disease. Anyway at least i know im clean and healthy and these cosmetic intricacies are not in my control unless i opt for extremely expensive and painful surgeries. So i have to learn to accept it and live with it and maybe the right girl would give me the chance to explain and maybe even accept me after that. Untill then i have a lot of things on my plate with regards to studies and going back to school.

This will probably be my last post for a while. I will update the blog on a monthly basis perhaps and list out if there are any cosmetic improvements and if all sores are over and done with.

Day 21 -- Three Week Mark

Well its been a while since i updated this blog. I initially started out thinking that there would be something new happening everyday. However beyond the first week the progress is noticeable only after a few days clubbed together. More so i have been busy getting ready to go back to school life.

At the 3 week mark i would say things are starting to at least feel normal now. In terms of appearance though there is still a long way to go.
I am able to do pretty much everything though i haven't tried running or jogging yet. I have resumed my exercise routine but i still want to take it easy and so avoid doing any lower abdomen and leg workout. The glans has become quite ok now and it looks really thick when i get an erection. Most of the stitches have come off and things are healing but there are tiny sores around the area where i got circed and they look a bit red and bloody. I checked with my doc on this and he said its fine and that in time it will heal and go away. So looks like everything is fine as of now.

Day 15 - Caved In

My aim to stave of jerking my self off for 3 weeks went out the window this morning. I woke up with the biggest boner since the last 2 weeks and was feeling horny as hell. Even the glans was swollen and was sensitive in a lesser but more pleasurable way. While on my computer there were some images of beautiful women on a website and i did a google image search to find out who the model was.. And that was it.

One image led to another. Pictures started getting more and more erotic until i finally couldnt handle it anymore. I desperately had to get off. But after handling my dick a certain way all these years i really didnt know how id go about jerking off now. Earlier while uncut id just use the foreskin to stroke from mid shaft to the tip. Now i was a bit perplexed as i did want to get off but also didnt want to touch the frenulum area that is still having a couple of stitches. I pulled out an old tube of KY and applied it to the glans and started rubbing it with just my index finger and thumb. It felt good but even after several minutes i couldnt feel the sensation of an orgasm. All these years its been pretty vigorous stroking so i guess this wasnt working. I was almost about to stop cause it was taking so long and maybe the gentleness wasnt working for me. But that led to more sexual frustration and i decided to even stroke the shaft of my dick with my other hand. Eventually i came and then my senses came back too and i started to regret doing this so soon.

And so this is my advice --  Wait for at least 3-4 weeks before attempting anything. I went to the washroom to wash my self off and i could see a spot of blood on the base of my glans where the stitches were. I was totally freaked out but luckily it didnt hurt. I washed off everything and the drop of blood also washed away. I think the friction against the few remaining stitches caused the blood drop. Anyway i just wshed up and applied the betadine ointment and put on my undies after putting on a cotton gauge. I didnt feel anything else for the rest of the morning. However in the afternoon i found that the cotton gauge was stuck to the opening on my glans. This never happened before, as the cotton gauge only used to get stuck to the frenelum part and not the tip. I figure its due the morning activity that removed some of the keratinised skin on the glans and caused it to stick. I just soaked my dick in warm salt water again for a couple of minutes and it was off.

I dont want to jerk off again, so that there is no further problems caused by it. But its really hard and once i start i find it really hard to stop.

One thing I'd like to point out is that i have read many intactivists saying that orgasms dont feel as good post circ and that sex is not pleasurable anymore. Personally i hate the extremism on both sides of the whole circ issue that one finds online. Most people are either vehemently for it or against it. I feel that this is kind of stupid. I would agree that maybe circumcision should not be done to babies -- but i remember praying and wishing countless times i was circed as a baby when i spent the last decade dealing with my phimosis. The thing is had i had a fully retractable foreskin i wouldnt have wanted to get circed. But since i had phimosis and ballanoposthis i used to woefully wish that i was circumcised as a baby. If i have a son in the future, I would never want for him to go through what I did, growing up always lacking confidence and feeling like a bit of a freak. But i would still avoid circumcision on a baby. I think surgery should always be the last resort and even in my case i tried several things before realizing that surgery was the only sure shot permanent solution for me. Now adult circumcision is another thing altogether. I dont get why so many people are strongly against. Nowadays people dont even bat an eye while getting breast implant or nose jobs or tummy tucks or any one of the hundreds of purely cosmetic surgeries both men and women go through just for the sake of vanity. Sure there maybe underlying psychological issues and it may improve a persons overall quality of life by doing these surgeries which is why i am always surprised to see so many sites where people use extreme words like mutilation and even going as far as to compare it with female circumcision. Anyway i guess i am ranting but my point is have a moderate outlook and understand the reason for people opting to do the things they do before jumping all over and putting them down with rigid thoughts and opinions.

Coming back to the point --- pleasure wise, at least from masturbation, wasnt all that different for me. Some dudes have reported greater pleasure but for me i felt it was pretty much on par with what i used to experience prior to getting circed. The only difference was earlier i could jack off any time, any where in a matter of 3-4 minutes. From todays experience I guess going ahead i would need lots of lube and a fair amount of time. I cannot talk about penetrative sex as I haven't engaged in it even before getting circed (yes technically I'm a virgin :P). I have had only bjs and handys till date. I honestly feel bjs will feel a whole lot better now cause of the direct contact to the exposed glans and handys were good but never did all that much for me as I was too used to my own hand. However, at this point I can only speculate until I actually receive some action. I think it will be months before i have the nerve to whip it out in front of a girl, but I dont see any major problems, in fact i guess the delayed climax will only be appreciated.

Day 13 & 14

Day 13 - Quite uneventful. Spent the entire day at home and didnt give too much thought to my penis except during the shower.

Day 14 - Two weeks makes a big mark in terms of healing progress. I have resumed wearing even my skinny jeans which are a bit crotch hugging. Just need to make adjustments while putting the jeans on so that no rubbing against the zipper. Other than that there was no problem. I even spent the entire afternoon shopping for clothes and tried on several jeans an trousers without any problem. Was out all day long and even stuck in traffic for a while but everything felt fine penis wise. At the end of the day the gauge too came off with barely any spotting on it. I even can get a solid erection without experiencing any pain anymore, but it does still feel like i am not able to erect to my full capacity. I think only once the stitches dissolve completely and the circed area fuses fully to the remaining outer foreskin will this be possible. For now it looks like i have lost half and inch  or so in length but i find that im a bit thicker and even the glans looks much bigger when im having a boner. Before when i was still uncut i dont remember seeing my glans looking this thick through the foreskin. I can only infer that the lack of foreskin caused the glans to really get engorged during an erection, making it look thicker in the process.

Since im not feeling pain anymore during an erection my thoughts wander to sexual things more often. During the first 12 days or so whenever my mind wandered towards sex the boner that resulted would cause a painful choking feeling and i would have to think other things and pinch other parts of my body to divert the pain. That made me consciously avoid thinking about sex as much as possible. Now that i dont feel any pain i can only think about sex and even the sight of lingerie models or gorgeous skimpyly clad women on the tv gets me really hard. I want to avoid masturbating till at least day 21 in order to complete 3 whole weeks of post surgery recovery and avoid any issues. Its becoming incredibly hard to do this (forgive the pun) though. 

Im a bit concerned about the size of my penis. It was never huge to begin with but it seemed fair enough. Now it seems to be quite stumpy and i feel like im not growing to my full potential. I asked the doctor about this and he said that the penis was never touched and only the tight part of the foreskin was removed. He then went on to say that a bottle always looks a bit smaller once its out of the package :P

Day 10 & 11

From here on in i think its going to be slow and gradual progress in terms of healing. I will club the days where there isnt much to report. The salt water soaks have really gone a long way in the healing process. Based on my personal experience, I would recommend anyone who has undergone a circ to start doing it as soon as the doc gives the OK to take regular showers. I can see that things are healing. They still look a bit rough and no where close to what id like it to finally look like but for now it will suffice.

The sensation in my glans is getting more and more stable. Now the top view of the glans feels fine for the most part when brushing against my undies. Its the bottom part or the frenelum area thats still sensitive but i think this is normal and with tight fitting undies its completely manageable.

On Day 11 i went back to the doc for a routine checkup. He said he was happy with the way the wound was healing and that i only need to take care to keep it clean and dry. From his side he felt confident that there shouldnt be any issues and that i could return to all my activities as and when i felt comfortable. That evening i finally went out for dinner and drinks, after 10 days of total inactivity. I even walked a fair amount and did not feel any kind of discomfort at any point. I am still putting a piece of cotton gauge in my undies before wearing them but even the gunky stuff that used to cause sticking is reducing day by day. Sometimes the gauge sticks to my dick because of the blood/fluid sticking to it. During those times i soak my penis in warm salt water and keep pouring warm water on it till the gauge just floats away smoothly and painlessly. There are even some moments when there is no stickiness at all and the gauge comes off dryly without causing any discomfort. 

Day 9 - Salt Water

I have pretty much gotten used to the way things go by in the day now. A little bit of pain and discomfort here and there. Overall its quite manageable now. Only sometimes when the stitches poke the wrong way it hurts like hell. I finally decided to try out soaking my dick in warm salt water as recommended by several other guys who have undergone adult circumcision. It actually was quite soothing. I dont have a tub so i had to use a plastic container and added a spoon of salt and filled it with hot water. I dunked my dick and balls in it and kept it that way for about 5-10min. I did this twice and felt really good each time. I guess the salt helps in healing the wound faster. I am going to be doing this more often in the coming days. I have been sitting at home constantly since i got circed, the only time i stepped out was for my follow up appointment. This week onwards im going to get out and meet some friends and start with all my shopping for going back to school.

In terms of progress i cant really say much. The most jacked up area remain the frenulum part. It still looks like some gross creature from an alien movie. Really hope it heals properly in due time.

Unfortunately it seems my genitals are doomed for bad things. I noticed these white pearly papules. Its a condition called PPP. Its only a cosmetic issue and does not pose any health risk but they are quite unsightly to look at. My biggest concern is that some girl may see me and get scared or freak out thinking i  have some sort of disease. From what i read, PPP afflicts roughly 10 to 25% of all men. Another problem i observed is that my left testicle seems quite lumpy as if it i broken into several little balls. This happens only when my balls are hanging loose. When my scrotum is close to my body i cannot make out anything is wrong. I again went about researching this and suspect i have a problem called Varicocele. Again this isnt life threatening but it seems this leads to immotility of the sperms which in turn causes infertility.

This really bummed me out. I dont want to dwell on it too much but i really would want to have a family of my own someday and this potentially poses as a big problem. Cant help but feel that my junk is messed up in so many ways. Anyway its just something i slept over. Hopefully im wrong and except for all the cosmetic anomalies i have a fully functional reproductive system.

Day 8 - Continued Annoyance

Im starting to wonder if the recovery process is slowing down already. The level of discomfort remains the same due to the hardened stitches. As long as im in my briefs and shorts i am ok but in the shower or whenever im in the buff the movement of may balls causes constant piercing sensations all over my cock. At this point im desperately waiting for the stitches to fall out. I read elsewhere that salt water baths can help sooth the pain. So will try that out soon only problem being i dont have a tub and so will have to dunk my balls in a bowl or cup or something.

Took some pics for personal record and overall from the top view things look nice and normal. But the behind frenelum area is still very scabby and covered in whitish yellow gunk. It looks quite horrendous and the scab is looks like a ugly messed up shirt button like shape on the bottom of my penis. Its still early days but i desperately want to have a normal/good looking penis once all the wounds heal. There is a marked colour difference since my shaft and overall penis is dark in colour while the glans and area just under it are pinkish.

I have tried to get my penis hard just to see how it looks. But even in semi hard state it starts to hurt too much so i cant make it fully erect yet. But im disappointed with how small my penis looks even in semi hard state. Even prior to the circ my cock was not massive in any way but it was a decent 5 inches when erect and quite small when completely flaccid or cold. Now it seems to be swollen a bit and the glans feels heavy and bumps onto the sides of my thighs like the dong of a bell. At semi erect state it looks much smaller and feels like i have lost and inch or two. It has become quite a bit thicker but the length has become quite less. This should all me temporary though and in the coming months everything should revert to normal shape and size.

At night i was sleeping in the buff and could feel a gush of weird pain through my shaft goinng up to the head. At the same time the tip of my glans/ opening had this tinging feeling. In terms of discomfort the last 3 nights have been the worst since the beginning. I think the pain is due to the skin healing and also maybe the stitches are dissolving on their own.

Day 6 & 7 -- Crown Of Thorns

In terms of appearance not much improvement over the last two days. Im clubbing the days as i have pretty much been experiencing the same thing over the last 48 hours.

The major discomfort right now is solely due to the stitches. During my last appointment i had asked the doc about the stitches but he said not to worry about it and that they would fall on their own. The last time i had stitches was on my head sometime last year and back then the regular kind was used which were plucked out by the nurse after about ten days. Im not sure how soluble stitches work or whether they always dissolve as i have read on other blogs that they dont always fall out on their own. In my case the stitches are literally sticking out like thorns and i was able to count 4 such thorns on and around the frenulum area. These stitches even feel very thorn like as i have tried touching them with my finger. It literally feels like im wearing a crown of thorns on my dick head and has been causing me a lot of mental and emotional distress than the actual physical pain. Now my ball sac is hanging lose and so when ever it dangles it feels like getting some mild injections-- very discomforting. Most other guys experienced more discomfort during the initial days and apart from the pain during night time erections no one reported much about pain caused by the hardening of these stitches. In my case though, these stitches are causing more pain and discomfort during my 6 & 7 day than i experienced during previous days. I am hoping that the doc will pull them out during my next appointment if they dont fall out by then.

To deal with this piercing feeling i have started wearing tight underwear like trunks and briefs. The elastic in the underwear keeps my dick in place thus preventing the constant poking from the stitches. Since the freulum still looks a little scabby and messed up i put a piece of cotton gauge on it. After this i was feeling totally fine. I wore my shorts and was able to move freely with only minor neglectable discomfort. I went to sleep that night in my underwear itself. At around 2 am i started to feel very uncomfortable and so decided to sleep in the buff. I went to the bathroom to take off my underwear. The gauge had gotten stuck to the scab and gunk on the frenulum and caused me a world of pain when i tried to remove it. I had to pour several mugs of hot water on it so that it cam off on its own. The pain was by far amongst the worst i have felt since i got circed. I desperately need the stitches to dissolve.

ONE WEEK COMPLETED --  The next day completed a whole week since i got circed. I have decided to alternate between underwear and being in the buff. Try to minimize the pain as much as possible by avoiding previous mistakes. Day went OK with the same amount of occasional dull surges of pain, However my in the night my one year old baby nephew of all things decided to give a hard slap to my cock while i was eating my dinner. Luckily i didnt get to badly hurt but i can now see a slight purple hue on the base of my glans. Probably caused from the trauma. Overall my glans has lost quite a bit of sensitivity and now im able to touch it without getting that weird shock like feeling. Its still sensitive if i rub side ways but at least its getting more stable in terms of sensitivity.